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Today, Tomarrow, Yesterday
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Apr. 14th, 2005 @ 05:28 pm P.S.
I'm feeling: crazy
I'm not going to junior prom.
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pinkfae
Feb. 18th, 2005 @ 11:31 am (no subject)
I'm feeling: lazy
I'm listening to: Blue Oyster Cult - (Don't Fear) The Reaper
I had to go back to the doctor's today because the medication made me throw up. So they gave me a new one and I seem to be okay with it. I can breathe easier now too. So I seem to be getting better! Yay!

I uploaded some more pictures, and I'm going to put them into this entry.

Read more... )

I am suffocating my boredom with countless quizes.

Read more... )

Bye for now.
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gotpride
Dec. 16th, 2004 @ 11:54 am Locked.
I'm feeling: grumpy
I'm listening to: The Ramones - Shina is a Punk Rocker
Hello loves. The last few entries I've put in have been locked, but starting from this point on my journal will be friends only. If you love and and want to be in on my life leave a comment. Also I'm going through my friends list and stuff.


About this Entry
darkside
Dec. 4th, 2004 @ 10:26 am Weekend, yay!
I'm feeling: energetic
I'm listening to: The Ramones - Beat on the Brat
Let's see, my plans for today go as followed:
1. Shower get dressed check
2. Get a hold of Erin, Elyse and Rita check
3. Go cash my paycheck
4. Meet up with Elyse and Erin, head twords the mall
5. Shop/lift gifts for everyone I need gifts for
6. Meet Rita at the mall at approx. 2pm, take photos for portrait assignment
7. Go home happy

All week I've been busy, busy, busy. I worked everyday except yesterday and that was because I had a babysitting job so I wanted to get ready for it. The boys I watched used me as a jungle gym half the night (payback from when Rita and I used Kyle as a jungle gym when we were their size I suppose), then the other half they ran around like little terrors and then threw up. Eventually I got them to lay down on the couch and say good night, but I left the room for 5 minutes and next thing I know they're up running around again. So in between running and screaming and needing to go pee, it was very tiring.

When I go to the mall today I need to go check out the camera store and see how much zoom lenses cost and light filters and all that other fun stuff.

Oh! Ringo (the hamster) died last night, he was a little bastard and liked biting me, but I still love him and miss his gnawing on the cage at night.


Wish list thingy

Step One
- Make a post (public, friendslocked, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain your list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and fandom-related ("I'd love a Snape/Hermione icon that's just for me") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV.") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.
- If you wish for real life things (not fics or icons), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where Santa (or one of his elves) could get in touch with you.
- Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post (it'll be public) so that the holiday joy will spread.
Step Two
- Surf around your friendslist (or friendsfriends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:
- If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true. Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.
You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday elf--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.
There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

1. Pictures of my online friends
2. Any cds burned or not (I really would like some Doors or Beatles, or anything that you find that’s good)
3. Gothic & Lolita Bible
4. Fabric
5. Postcards with little notes from you on them
6. A new pipe
7. Any books that you find that are good
8. An icon that has cartoon Ringo on it, and a background of the sea of holes
9. An Alice in Wonderland icon, or Alice computer game icon
10. A UV black light

I hope no one will stalk me if I give you guys my address...
About this Entry
pinkfae
Dec. 2nd, 2004 @ 05:37 pm Almost forgot
I'm feeling: energetic
I'm listening to: Pink Floyd - Another Brick in the Wall Part II
I got all my pics for photo onto the class computer, next time I get a chance I'm going to put them in here. Awesome!

      
cemetaries are love
brought to you by the isLove Generator


But cemetaries really are love!

Oh... did you know the kids in the chorus of Another Brick in the Wall Part II are sueing Pink Floyd for £200 each in royalties? That album was made like 35 years ago. Pink Floyd did pay the school though when they made it.
About this Entry
darkside
Nov. 28th, 2004 @ 01:58 pm It's a man's world, and I won't be owned in it.
I'm feeling: cynical
I'm listening to: AC/DC - The Jack
No man will ever own me again, I'd rather be free.

I wrote two poems.

Fuck you.
You have hollowed me out,
stuffing my body with lies
and eating my soul.
Feasting on my sore parts
celebrating my decent.
You fool.
I love you I want to say
but I open my mouth,
nothing comes out.
I struggle, nothing to say,
so much to do, to think
I miss the way things were
so do you, and you show plainly
not knowing you do
That haunting look, I know you.
Fuck off,
I hate you, I wanted to tell you
but I can't say it
not with out tears breaking free.
I wish we could be together
I would do anything
because I love you


and the second...

In the News

Where's the greatness?
unreturned love a harsh reality
A kiss is just a kiss...
so simple, attemtped rape
Suicidal woman under attack
'poison pill' plan
Thankful for a little
help from her friends
once again open for business
hard to pace herself
more than 'Forever'
needs attention
demon talk Genital mutilation
'Black Friday'
Exploding scrutinized
honor isn't so great
Tears of the star:
reform must be a priority
bloody knife attack at school
residents killed in crash
Intelligence
entering 'American Idiot'
frets over image Witch
tech age Electric 'Circus'
police detain man in community


What I did for the second one was just looked through newpapers and found phrases and words that I liked and cut them out and rearranged them to how I liked them, and created a poem out of them.
About this Entry
darkside
Nov. 27th, 2004 @ 04:11 pm Happy Saturdays don't exist.
I'm feeling: irritated
I'm listening to: Nirvana - Frances Farmer Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle
Well after yesterday's post I went to the movies with Paul, we saw The Incredibles, it actually had quite a bit of adult humor to it. Then I came home, ate turkey soup, and then Paul came back over for a while, we watched The Butterfly Effect. That movie makes complete sense. At least it did to me. After Paul left I went outback to see what mom and her friend were doing, had a bit of a smoke and listened to mom's crazy friend talk about aliens. Apperantly we have "governors" in our heads so we can't preform miracles like Jesus and the aliens put those there. As I said, crazy friend. So I just went inside and chilled in my room.

I actually slept in for once this morning (until 10:30!!) for a change, which was nice, I actually got to act like a teenager for once.So far I've spent all day here at home, bored as fuck. I watched Ever After, which is one of my favorite movies, and that's really about it.

Hopefully tomarrow will be more interesting, mom said we'regoing to go to Palo Alto and visit Uncle Joe, but then again she said we'd do that today, and she also said that yesterday. So whatever.
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darkside
Nov. 26th, 2004 @ 11:07 am Woot.
I'm feeling: devious
I'm listening to: Queen - Death on Two Legs
I got bored last night, I dyed Bulit's white spot pink. He looks cute. I'm not too sure if mom likes it too much though.

Yesterday was yummy. There was turkey, mashed potatoes, candied yams, asperagus, stuffing with sausage, salad and other ymmu foods. I also made an apple pie and there was pumpkin as well. Yummy food times. ^.^
About this Entry
darkside
Nov. 25th, 2004 @ 08:13 pm All's well that ends well.
I'm feeling: relieved
I'm listening to: Aerosmith - Walk on Water
I found it, it had slipped out of a drawer and into the space below. Thank god.
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pinkfae
Nov. 25th, 2004 @ 05:54 pm Fuck
I'm feeling: scared
I'm listening to: Pink Floyd - Money
I can't seem to find my stash anywhere. I hope I just misplaced it and no one really took it.

O.O
About this Entry
darkside
Nov. 25th, 2004 @ 04:25 pm Why Rita, Erin, Nea and Yuki are awesome people.
I'm feeling: good
I'm listening to: Rush - 2112
I met The Lovely Rita when we were well, very little. We went to church together for years and raised quite a bit of hell. We would climb trees in our pretty little dresses and do whatever pleased us most (ie: switching the sugar and salt, eating the bread from comunin, ect.) She is a person I know I can tell anything with out it going past her lips to anyone else. Rita is special to me in many ways, not only was she a childhood friend, but also a first kiss, and I might say I had a bit of a crush on her as well. Rita has a great sense of style and self. Yay for Rita!

Nea is one of the greatest people that I'd love to meet in person. She is smart, funny, witty and a great friend who listens and can give good advice. Nea and I have always had fun conversations about an aray of things. When I meet Nea we will do the time warp, with much pelvic thrusts. If I hadn't of met Nea, I'd never have had so many fun little chats about hamsters and music and whatever else there is that we found amusing to chat about. Cheers to Nea!!

I met Erin a while back, but we never really started hanging until recently. She is a fun person to be around, with a very unique mind, and definately a great taste in guys! Erin is super, she loves to share and make people happy, and be happy herself. She is also smart and can think of things that not everyone can think of. Erin is fucking awesome!!!

Yuki is a good friend of mine who I met freshman year, and really got to know in sophmore pe. Yuki made that year of pe quite interesting. Between her, Saje, and Will there was never a dull moment when some kind of havok wasn't being reaked. I love Yuki because she's sweet and always thinks of other people instead of just herself. She'll tell you the truth, and what's really on her mind. Yuki is very open minded and accepts everyone who wants to be her friend and then protects her friends when she needs to. Hugs and kisses for Yuki!!


Happy Turkey Day to Everyone!!!!
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pinkfae
Nov. 23rd, 2004 @ 11:48 pm Sharing the love!!!!
I'm feeling: giggly
I'm listening to: Lacuna Coil - Hell Fire
1. Reply to this post if you want/need me to tell you how cool you are!

2. Watch my journal over the next few days for a post just about you and why I think you rock my socks.

3. Post these instructions in your journal and give your friends a much needed dose of love and adoration!
About this Entry
pinkfae
Nov. 23rd, 2004 @ 01:49 pm (no subject)
I'm feeling: drunk
I am getting to the end of White Oleander and I'm sad to be ending it so soon. I have fallen in love with Astrid's sense of self, her scars.

So last night was fun. I ended up getting drunk and stayed up all night, I decided that since I didn't want a hangover when I woke up, I wouldn't sleep, therefore not waking up and not gaining a hangover. I hope that makes some sort of sence to you people out there away from my walking dream of a life. All today it seems like I have been walking in a dream, that nothing was so much as real, but that everyone was some sort of symbol of something, something predicting different patterns in my life. The gold Saturn I see everyday on my way to school, The pattern of the rocks on the ground, the look of the smoke of a cigarette in the air. Everything. Its so weird, but in a way, I'm falling in love with this sensation. I should be putting my artistic point of view to work and draw some things, write poetry, and whatever else I can think of.

The majority of yesterday was spent with Jeremy. That was fun times. Mom came over and got md at me for not leaving her a note or anything. Silly mommy.

Nothing really left to say anymore, I got my speel out for the day.

Loves and kisses and pelvic thrusts!!!!!
Jenn

PS after a whole night of drink vodka and rum, my head kinda hurts...
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darkside
Nov. 21st, 2004 @ 09:47 pm Because these things are fun!
I'm feeling: high
I'm listening to: Ramones - Sheena is a Punk Rocker
Love and Sex With Your Friends by dannygrl0129
Username
Sex
Favorite Color
Love of your life:hopeless_addict
Best sex of your life:negativepink
Will make you come 1000 times:sum1luvsme
Will break your heart:hamsterkid_2000
Best Kisser:superbunny185
Best cuddler:theonejustforme
You secretly dream of:midgetsrock
But this person dreams of you:brokenmoon139
Will handcuff you and screw you silly:cherrycigarette
Quiz created with MemeGen!


I am in a very good mood indeed! I spent the day with Jeremy and Janelle, we went down to Panama, and met up with Davy then wondered around a bit and went back to Jeremy's. That was some fun times there! I'm going to hang out with Jeremy tomarrow after I finish my house cleaning at grandma's and after work Tuesday. Then all day Wensday. Woot fun times!

Kisses!!!
Jenn
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pinkfae
Nov. 21st, 2004 @ 10:03 am (no subject)
I'm feeling: drained
I'm listening to: Ozzy Osbourne - Crazy Train
I have internet again, you can im through aim. I'm amysnightdress.

Went to Brittney's party last night. I spent part of it sitting outside due to social phobias that recently started again. I suppose all that bullshit with Keiva and Tiffany sent me back to not really wanting to talk to people and being nervous around everyone. I never really feel comfortable at school or at parties or anything anymore. Oh well, I'll have to work through that again. Its just taking a step back and not forcing myself to go through things I don't want to. Not too hard. Anyways, To The Death played, and that was awesome. I'm going to have to see them again when the play Unity.

I've been hanging out with Jeremy lately. That is really awesome, and now I have a friend that lives within walking distance from me. Yay! Much fun times ^.~

Loves!
Jenn
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darkside
Nov. 19th, 2004 @ 01:32 pm No ranting, just memories.
I'm feeling: indifferent
I wish the world would freeze. That perfect moments would be frozen forever so I could possibly be happy at some point in time in time. Maybe the world would be perfect if we all just coexisted? Would that be possible? I hold my memories like a scrap book, turning the ragged pages like the bible, remembering, sights, scents, sounds, embraces, picturing those perfect days. Camping at the beach, the comfort of a week long high, hearing the ocean's gentle lullaby, cradled in the sweet smelling air, sleeping so comfortably with Steven in my tent. The night that Zak and I walked down to his house and back in the middle of the night, the darkness and cars passing by, us talking in the warmth of the summer air, excited to be out at such a late hour. Walking down the street easily, freely. I had some of the best times of my life last summer, now my hands shake, just from sitting in front of a computer. I feel pale in comparison to what my life had been. Jealousy drives people away. I seem to have realized that much far too late. Now all I can do is stand up straight and wear my mask of nothingness on my face, my body at school, my soul and heart trapped in a scrapbook wishing I wasn't looking back, but looking at life how it is now. Though as Scarlett said in Gone With the Wind, You can't live in the past, it will make you crazy, you'll never pull yourself out of it. I'll end up like those women after the war, sullen faced and wishing for something that will probably never happen again. That would be a sad existance. I wish for more.
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pinkfae
Nov. 17th, 2004 @ 12:53 pm Booked solid with nothing.
I'm feeling: cold
I'm listening to: Joan Jett and Paul Westerburg - Let's Do It
My day has been 3/4 less than interesting so far. I developed something for the library, which we don't get to put our pictures into anyways, so that sucks. We're not going to the Academy of Art field trip either. I didn't have to go to my ta period at the library because there was testing, and all I'd be doing was scanning barcodes, which is boring as fuck. So instead Paul and I went through thrift stores and stuff. That was fun. Then in science was so fucked up. I had to sit and listen to the girl next to me complain about how the class "is so gay" and how the people are "so gay" and their music is "so gay" and how everything is "so gay". I'd love to smack her. Next class I'm going to sit there and talk about how everything is "so straight". That wouldn't teach her, but it would be funny. And I'll bring my cd player and play plenty of Queen and Rush (the music she thought was "so gay").

So that's it really.

Lately I've felt like a walking zombie. Really when you see me at school and I'm just sitting there staring off into space, its not really me, just my physical self. My mental self is off in memories and being tortured by the past. That all I can think about really. The past, the happy and sad. It doesn't matter those memories all torture the same, all making me mad and insane. Sometimes it just feels like my heart is turning to ice and spreading through the rest of my body like acid, and eating away through my veins.

I hate high school, I want to skip the rest of this and go to college and get my own apartment in San Francisco.
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darkside
Nov. 16th, 2004 @ 02:17 pm (no subject)
I'm feeling: lonely
I'm listening to: Davis Bowie - China Girl
My head hurts like heartbreak.
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pinkfae
Nov. 15th, 2004 @ 01:48 pm The hangman's noose is empty.
I'm feeling: sore
I'm listening to: The Mits - Party Hat
Well I've come to a conclueson, love is a natural disaster waiting to happen. It's easy to hate and stay in that comfort zone of hating, but its all the more fun to love and be loved. Either way you get fucked over.

Lets see. Thursday I went to the mall with Paul and we hung out. We saw Erin, Elise, Andrea, and Morgan. We saw a really hot grunge guy there too, and hung out with him and his friend. Friday I went to the mall with Michelle, we hung out, she ended up getting arrested, but all's better now. Then that night I went with Paul to the Program concert at Unity and that was fucking awesome! I went into a mosh pit for the first time. I had so much fun. Saturday I went to the movies with Rita, Jessi, Kara, and a few of her friends. Then we went to Applebee's and had a feast where we all shared our food and were all nice and full. We saw the grudge. Very good movie. Sunday I just sat around the house and did nothing. It was boring.

Its funny I realized today that I don't really belong anywhere. Where ever I go to hang out, I'm never comfortable, I'd just rather hang out with a few select people or by myself, but not in a group where I barely know anyone. Mayb e that's my problem. I don't feel comfortable until I actually get to know the people. I must have social anxiety like mom does.

Steven still needs to give me my cd player and Mario game back and he still needs to come by my house and pick up his stuff. I'm sick of looking at it. If not for mom taking away my matches I would have burned them on Halloween when his friends played that nasty little "joke" on me. I've always heard the phrase "if you lay down with dog you get fleas" and I must say that is what is going to happen with him and their friends they'll all get fleas, not real ones, but problems or whatever. I don't really care anymore.

To think of it I don't really care about anything anymore, I sit around at home and do nothing but listen to music and write in my journal. I'm going to start making lots of cologes and stuff and fill my walls with beauty so I can feel like I'm in my own room and its no one else's.

Let everyone have their beauty, inner and outter!

Jenn
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darkside
Nov. 9th, 2004 @ 01:56 pm Well, well, well.
I'm feeling: numb
I'm listening to: Steve Miller - The Joker
There isn't much to say. Infact there's nothing to say.

Jojo's doing great. So is Ringo, but somehow I guess he got the idea that when Jojo gets big enough I'm going to feed him to Jojo. I won't though. Even though the little bastard bit me I'll still keep him alive, I love that little bastard.

I've written some new poetry, but its not with me, so maybe I'll write them here next time.

Love ya guys!
Jenny
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darkside